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Re-entry
In the past week or two my responsibilities and schedule have slowly started to creep back to pre-quarantine levels. For the past 5 months I have practically been living in what I like to call “retirement mode.” I could sleep as much as I wanted to, I ate lots of good food, my to-do list consisted of very few things, and I never had to worry about being late to something. But recently that has started to change. Every day it looks like my calendar and to-do list are getting closer and closer to how they looked pre-quarantine. But as my calendar starts to fill up, and my to-do list continues to get longer, my anxiety levels also grow.
As much as quarantine life has not been ideal, it has given me a very nice break from the fast paced and busy nature of everyday life. I just went back in my calendar and clicked on a random week of February to see how busy I was back then compared to now. I counted all of the different time blocks I had in the calendar for that week and the total number of things I had scheduled was 55. And that does not include any spur of the moment things, studying for classes, or doing anything on my to-do list. That is more than the number of events in my calendar over the last 10 weeks COMBINED! So, as much as I want life to return to normal, I don’t know if I’m ready to be 10 times busier again.
As school is getting closer to starting, many of my school involvements are also starting to pick up the pace. These things picking up pace, as well as a few personal projects gaining momentum (which I am sure you will hear about soon), are really increasing my busyness. Don’t get me wrong, these are all things that I love and am looking forward to, for the most part, but they are still adding to my calendar. This idea that I am slowly re-entering into my pre-quarantine busyness has really had me thinking recently. I don’t know how I am going to be able to handle it, and don’t want to have a huge breakdown.
So, what is my solution? To be honest, I don’t really have one. No matter how much thought I put behind it, I am unable to come up with a way to make this transition easier. The only thing I know is that I am going to have to give myself a lot of slack. I know I am probably going to fail, or feel like I am nowhere close to performing how I was pre-quarantine, and I’m going to have to give myself a break instead of feeling bad. And I think that’s the answer. Believing that I’ll be able to perform at the same level I was at pre-quarantine is an unreasonably high standard. Yes, eventually I’ll get back to that level, but I need to allow myself to ease into that rather than jump in.
So that is my challenge to you this week: give yourself a break. Whether you already feel like you’ve re-entered, you are currently in the process, or are about to be, we are all going to experience it at some point. For me, it’s just like running. In high school I ran cross country and was a decently good runner, but I haven’t trained at that same level since. So, it would be crazy to think that I could go out right now and match my old split times. Instead, I should accept where I currently am, and slowly work towards what I was once capable of. Giving myself rest along the way, and encouraging myself rather than being disappointed. So as you re-enter, whenever that may be for you, know that it is going to be a process to get back into the swing of things, and give yourself a break when things seem harder than they used to be.
Stay Motivated,
-Dan
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